Blessings
“What if Your blessings come through raindrops? What if Your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near? What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise? What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy?”
-Laura Story
Won’t be on tumblr for a while.
Flying to Arizona tomorrow morning and going into inpatient treatment for my eating disorder at Rosewood Center for Eating Disorders.
I am terrified. But I’m ready to break these chains that I have been held captive by for so long. I can’t live like this anymore, physically or emotionally. Every day is going to be a fight, but I’m ready.
In my delusional world, starving was my only vice toward attaining the ultimate accomplishment; death. Bingeing was my only way of embracing indulgence. And purging was my only release from the hell hole I was trapped in. I thought I’d live the rest of my life stuck on repeat. No one would ever hear me, no one would ever love me, and no one would ever see the value in my life. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror without wanting to throw my head into the glass. My life had become meaningless. I didn’t know truth, I didn’t know compassion, and I didn’t know the depths of my own strength. All I knew was that I hated myself. I hated my soul, mind, and body. Nothing was good enough, and I just knew with every fiber in my being that nothing would ever be able to change me.
^^^This is how I am living right now and I hope that one day it was be a part of my past, not my present or my future.
finally-free-andme asked: your one of the most amazing people I know. and I miss you
thank you! made my day :) miss you too.
